ADOPTION: The Funks are adopting!

We have some big news to share with everybody!

Are you ready?

We’re adopting!

That’s right!

So let’s start at the beginning where is the beginning…. oh, goodness, where’s the beginning?  

I’m gonna chat about 3 things:

    1. Why we want to adopt
    2. Why we want to adopt now
    3. What that process will look like for us

Why we want to adopt

Let’s start with why we want to adopt in the first place. Both of us, even before we knew each other – before we started dating or got married, we’ve both had a desire to adopt. If you ask my parents if you ask anybody who knows me well, it’s always been something that I have had a passion for and have desired to do in the future. A desire to add to your family, not from just biological kids but adding through adoption. Taking care of other children and have them in your home, to become part of your family, is something that I’ve always wanted to do. Also, we hope to be able to make a better, lifelong change for a child who, through no fault of their own, lost their family or their family couldn’t provide for them.  We hope to provide for a child like that and give them a hope in the future – a safe place to grow up.

This desire for adoption is also something that’s really important to us in our faith. We believe that God adopted us as His children, and likewise, we too are called to provide and adopt other people into like our lives and into our homes – one way to do that is through adoption

Why we want to adopt now

Currently, we don’t have any children of our own and it is something that we do desire and hope one day we will have. However,\ at the same time, we have wanted to have adopted children. Whichever one comes first for us is just as equally exciting. Since we’re of the age where we want to have children and we want to start a family, we know too that the adoption process can take a while. These factors lead us to decide that now is a good time to start the process.

We knew that the adoption could take awhile and we thought: Well, if we know we want to adopt sometime in the future and if it’s going to take a few years maybe to actually finish the adoption, we should just start the process now so that in a few years you know we’re further down the trail and we can keep going with it.

Last fall (2017) we started talking about it more seriously and I, in my usually excited nature, have a way of getting way ahead of Jason. To be fair though, I have been asking Jason if we can go ahead and adopt kids since we got married.  Basically, I’ve been fixated on it for quite some time, knowing now is the time for sure that we should move forward.  Regardless of my intuition, I had coasted really far down the road of researching all of these agencies and knowing everything about everything about adoption, and Jason had barely done any research. Jason had to tell me to stop and remind me that we need to make this decision TOGETHER.

From that discussion, we decided to read a book about adoption it’s called Adoptive For Life. The book was really helpful for us to learn about adoption and helped us talk through what type of adoption we should pursue. After reading it we decided, “okay, let’s let’s do this!”

Thankfully, we found some fellow expats who both live in Turkey and adopted. Per their agency recommended and our research, we applied to use them. Since we’re living overseas and this agency knows how to work with people overseas, it seems like a great fit so far.  

What that process will look like for us

The process of adoption looks different for everyone. While there are lots of reasons people go with domestic or international, we have chosen to go through an international adoption instead of a domestic adoption. From reading the book together and talking about adoption together, we felt that while we are living in Turkey, adopting from a nearby country would be absolutely great and easier for us.  

I’ll share a lot more specifics about the adoption as we go along, both via videos first then transcribe it to a post like this one. Right now we’re still pretty early in the process and so there’s a lot of things we just don’t know yet. Some of those being:

    1. we don’t know we don’t know how long it’s may take
    2. we don’t know who the kids are
    3. how many kids we’re going to adopt (yes, we get to decide!)

We are really excited about the adoption and there are going be ways that y’all can support us through this journey. We asked right now for your support and your encouragement.  

As well we hope to encourage other people too who want to adopt – especially those who live overseas. We hope you will consider. Just because you live in another country, doesn’t mean that you can’t adopt.

***Watch a video of our announcement HERE.

 

Questions for you folks out there! I want to hear from you!

Have you adopted before?

Do you hope to adopt in the future?

Any positive words or tips you have for us as we go through this process?

 

Note about adoptions in Turkey: Adopting from Turkey is basically impossible for us. That being said, we didn’t even try to adopt from the Turkish system, and we don’t actually know if it’s impossible for us. We’ve heard from many other people who have lived here as expats that adopting from Turkey that is extremely difficult, if not impossible. Some of the rules make it hard for even Turks to adopt.  However, it can be possible to have a private foreigner to foreigner adoption through the courts, but it is not easy to come by. It is something we hope to be considered for in the future.

Share our news via Pinterest for others to join in on our journey!

GOING HOME SERIES: 7 self-care tips and why it is important for expats returning home

With all your de-stressing, prepping for your travels, and organizing your responses and expectations for your expat return ‘home’, you should feel completely ready to go home now! Just one last article left and may be the most important one. Which brings me to my last post of the GOING HOME SERIES, 7 ways to schedule in self-care and why it is essential for an expat returning home.

Just like self-care is vital for everyday life, it is also important, if not MORE important for your travels home. Scheduling even one of the items below with give you a little breather from visits and help you care for YOU!

Here are 7 tips for self-care during your expat visit home:

 

    1. Read about reverse culture shock.

      Read about how to deal with your transition and reverse culture shock. Consider reading other blog posts of people who have gone through it as well and learn about how they coped. Find a healthy outlet for your emotions. Let yourself feel, recognize the feeling, and then, perhaps laugh a bit at yourself. Consider keeping a list of gratitudes during your visit or writing in a journal to help process your thoughts and feelings.

 

    1. Make time for a couple of real ‘vacation’ days with just your family or take a personal retreat.

      I talk about this here as well, but I will also shout out to this as a great way to care for yourself. Jason usually works while we travel, but we try to make sure we are clear on our actual ‘no work’ vacation days. We also try to travel and explore someplace new in the states we have never been. When you take these days, make sure to work in good ‘debriefing questions.’ I will write more about those in a future, but for now, here are 10 questions your friends may ask you when you return home for a visit.

 

    1. Do something you CAN’T do in your expat country.

      This could be going to a water park or camping. In our case, we eat lots of good pork products (ribs and lots of bacon), fresh blueberries on the cheap, and drive a car everywhere (we don’t own a car in Turkey!).

 

    1. Pamper yourself a little.

      The first time I lived in Turkey, I was so afraid to get my hair cut by the hairdresser. In fact, I only went to the salon ONCE in the whole two years I lived there. Maybe that was vain of me, but I was so scared I would come out with crazy hair. This time around I have found a hairdresser that I love and trust, but that is nothing as good as a hairdresser you trust and love back home. Or better yet, get a pedicure/manicure with a friend. Guys, get that massage you have been wanting!

 

    1. Eat some good food.

      Put your diet on hold and eat all the food! There is nothing like getting the food you love and have missed from the true source. For me, it can be a favorite local restaurant or our family recipes.

 

    1. Don’t forget to exercise.


      This may seem like a silly one, and you may debate me and say… “I’m on vacation!” With all the eating and visits you will be making, trust me, just a good 30 minute walk a day will help give your body some movement and keep your systems semi-regular! (You can thank me later.)

 

  1. Consider processing your past year with a counselor.

    YES! While you may not want to admit it, this is an excellent form of self-care. The great thing here is that they are there to listen, not to judge, and to give you the space you may need to express these deep-seated feelings that friends and family may not be equipped to handle.

Here is your FREE worksheet to make sure you cover your expat visit home well!

 

Questions for you:

  • Are you an expat living in a foreign country? If so, where?
  • What self-care tip did you like the most?
  • What self-care tips do you have? What would you add to this list?

 

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FunkTravels-Going-Home-Series_-7-SELF-CARE-TIPS-WHY-IT-IS-IMPORTANT-FOR-EXPATS-RETURNING-HOME


P.S. – This is the first post of a 6 part series called EXPAT GOING HOME SERIES. Stay tuned for the following articles:

Going Home Series: 10 thoughtful questions to ask your returning expats

Going Home Series: 8 ways you can bless your returning expats

Going Home Series: 6 ways to make your expat visit ‘home’ more enjoyable (Part 1)

Going Home Series: 6 practical ways to destress your next expat visit ‘home’ (Part 2)

Going Home Series: 5 expectations to explore before expats return home

Going Home Series: 7 self-care tips and why it is important for expats returning home

 

2017 FunkTravels CatieFunk House Minimalism

EXPAT YEARS: Our First Year Abroad (Year 1 Part 1)

‘You get a strange feeling when you leave a place, like you’ll not only miss the people you love, but you miss the person you are at this time and place because you’ll never be this way ever again.’ — Azar Nafasi

4 checked bags, 2 carry ons, and 2 people boarded a 5 a.m. flight leaving 2 sets of parents behind at the airport in the U.S.A.  Excitement, nervousness, and surrealness flooded our thoughts as we traveled to Spain where our other 4 packages were waiting for us at our cousin’s home. Our original destination was Izmir, Turkey, the place that we hoped would be our home for the next 3 years. But with the coup taking place just 2 short weeks before, we detoured to Spain for a month.

Leaving the states!

Instead of spending one more month in the states we stuck to our original departure date – determined to move overseas. We felt that delaying our move would make it harder to leave, and believe me, it was sad enough leaving family and friends behind. So 20 hours later with a very lengthy layover in the Chicago airport, we found our (very tired) selves on the sunny beaches of Rota, Spain.

Since then, these 2 people have….

FunkTravels Podcast Episode017
Sailing Trip in Turkey
FunkTravels Eski Foca
Exploring Eski Foca, Turkey with new friends

And the truth? There have been MANY times I have regretted moving those first few months, especially while we were settling in.

BUT the great reality?

REGRETS and ‘second guessing’ are COMPLETELY NORMAL. And in all honesty, part of the deal. The disagreements between Jason and I about what and how much to buy, having to research and learn what to do here before you can make 5,000 decisions, deciding to budget high for travel although we had just moved, investing money into our language learning when it could be easier not to learn it at all, having to deal with having surgery in another country, the days where you don’t want to deal with culture or think about how every way you act.

REGRETS and 'second guessing' are COMPLETELY NORMAL. And in all honesty, part of the deal. Click To Tweet

And when those thoughts of regret happened?

Tears, sadness, loneliness, reflection, prayers (lots and lots of prayers), and choosing joy and happiness. I remember it is WORTH it. I remember how long we planned and dreamed for something like this. I remember the list of gratitudes I started in my prayer journal. I remember how sweet our neighbors, church, and friends are. I remember how far I have come for the ‘not so easy learner.’

I remember it is WORTH it. I remember how long we planned and dreamed for something like this Click To Tweet
Cyprus

And even now? ONE year later?

I am SO VERY THANKFUL we made the move. The decisions, awkward start of friendships, and transitioning from one life to another have had even more happy moments to accompany them. We have walked through our Turkish friends’ wedding, sang songs in another language, loved on Turkish and expat kids that are not our nieces and nephews, and celebrated life with those around us!

The decisions, awkward start of friendships, and transitioning from one life to another have had even more happy moments to accompany them. Click To Tweet

And you know what?

Year 2 is already starting off to be an even better year!

 

Questions for you!

Do you live in another country other than your native one? If so, where?

What emotions did you feel your first year abroad? Was it easier or harder than you expected?

Do you have a funny story to share? I would love to hear it!

New Years in Prague

 

Like this post? Pin it to your board!

FunkTravels Expat Abroad Podcast Turkey


P.S. – Stick around for part 2 and 3! I can’t wait to share even more about our first year abroad and what it taught us!

EXPAT YEARS: Year 1 Roundup Series – Our First Year Abroad (Part 2)

EXPAT YEARS: Year 1 Roundup – The truth about living Abroad

 

 

2017 FunkTravels CatieFunk House Minimalism

Expat Life vs. Full-Time Travel: Why we decided to become full-time expats

Let’s start off with how much we all LOVE travel websites! The amazing  photos, the adventurous spirits, new cultures, food, and scenery. Full time traveling SEEMS like it really has everything going for it.

In fact, as my husband and I were planning our move from the States to Turkey, I was convinced we could do it. I could not, however, convince him that it was a good idea as well.

Now almost a year into our move, we are settled in the sunny, 4 million large city of Izmir, and I could not be happier with choosing to settle in one location as an expat and then travel out from our cozy home.

2017 FunkTravels CatieFunk House Minimalism

 

Here are a few reasons we decided to be expats instead of full-time travellers:

1. WORK: Not everyone is made to work and travel full-time. Fortunately, if we wanted to, we have that option. But there are so many other international full-time jobs that provide a steady income, housing allowances, insurance, and vacation time. It’s truly the best of both worlds! Consider becoming a language tutor, teacher, tour guide, airline attendant, or find an international job location via your current company.

2. HOME BASE: Let’s face it, some of us are homebodies. We like our routine… our morning coffee in the same comfy chair with the same perfect blanket… ok, maybe I have found out from my now 3 international expat moves, that is just who I am. And there is no shame about it.  From a work perspective, my husband does best when he has a routine and a home office to work from during the day. We do best as a couple when we know what is expected and how we can best help one another.

3. COMMUNITY: Since our families live in the states, finding closeness to people here in the local community is important to us. Our online community is a huge support, but we also find that it is so helpful and encouraging to have a local group of friends to depend on in a foreign country.

 

2017 FunkTravels CatieFunk House Minimalism

2017 FunkTravels CatieFunk House Minimalism

 

4. DEEPER CULTURAL IMMERSION: Cultural is my favorite reason to live somewhere else long term. There is so much I am learning now, almost 3 years into Turkish culture, that I am constantly surprised by the complexity of culture! Plus, cultures evolve and changes just like the people that comprise it. Watching it change from when I first lived here 8 years ago has been even more interesting!

5. SLOW TRAVEL: It’s funny that I wrote ‘slow travel’ because I am actually a fast traveller by nature, but my husband is the definition of a slow traveller. Meaning that when we plan a vacation, I know that we will take half the day to rest, read, and sleep for him and the other half to explore what we can for me. It usually means that we decide to stay longer in one place in order to truly experience all it has to offer. It also means that we may just go to 1 city instead of 5 cities in one week.

 

2017 FunkTravels CatieFunk House Minimalism

2017 FunkTravels CatieFunk House Minimalism

6. SANITY: While some people are great at moving, touring, transitioning and maintaining emotionally consistency, others need time to process. Whether you are single, traveling with a friend, or married, it takes work to make sure you are communicating well and are emotionally healthy. Staying in one place teaching you to reflect, adapt, change, and learn who you are in one culture, one country. You learn to thrive in a place you are not a native for longer than a few days/weeks. While it is hard, it is one of the biggest rewards!

From the few reasons listing above (and many long conversations we had before our move), we were able to really see who we are and not what we wanted to be. Our intentionally dreaming and reflecting made our lives as expats much easier and less stressful through the transition to internationally living. Hopefully, you will be able to do the same and make the best choice for you!

Which one are you?

Would you consider yourself more apt to being a full-time traveler or does expat living sound like it could be the better option for you?

2017 FunkTravels CatieFunk House Minimalism

 

FunkTravels Expat Living Izmir Turkey

EXPAT LIVING: 5 steps to help you when the unexpected happened

Most people hate adulting.

However, I kinda like the challenge of it. I enjoy being independent, making decision, moving to another country, traveling…. My husband and I like coming together to figure out what dreams we want to pursue and how we can make those dreams happen together (even though it’s not always easy!). It is fair to say that my life has been somewhat easy and I believe that God has protected me from a lot. Even then, adulthood is not really about easy or hard… it just is part of life.

Recently, I had some health issues. It was one that actually required us to have surgery. In the states or your home country, a native has years of knowledge and context built up in order to make a good medical decision.

But as an expat in a foreign country ….with foreign language ….with foreign medical systems… We had a lot of questions floating around our heads for a month.

    1. Do we wait?
    2. Do we do the surgery?
    3. How bad is it really?
    4. What if we waited?
    5. What are other problems lurking around in there?
    6. Is the hospital we chose good?
    7. Is the health care sufficient?
    8. What will insurance cover?
    9. How much money does it cost here?
    10. etc, etc, etc???

Sometimes you have so many questions that you aren’t sure where to start. But since we had so many answers to seek out and we were able to, we waited. But instead of being idle, we waiting actively.

Here are 5 ways to help you  when you have to make decisions about the unexpected.

  1. Talk with your global insurance company – Like most other full-time expats, we have a global insurance. Our company already has an established relationship with the hospital near us. (Unfortunately, it took 3 visits to finally get it all sorted out.) Our company has been great to work with and has taken care of extra logistics/reports directly with the hospital.  We found out that our insurance provides extra services for expats to help them make the best decision.
  2. Ask for a second opinion – Unfortunately, we had heard here that a lot of doctors do unnecessary surgery just for the extra money.  We went to one of the best hospitals in our area, and felt it unnecessary to go to another hospital. However, our insurance provide a 2nd opinion via their services. Not just 1 doctor, but 3 doctors reviewed our case and helped talk through what could be done in our native language
  3. Research – I had heard about my cyst before, but I really was not overly familiar. As I didn’t have the normal systems, I didn’t know how important it would be to jump into surgery. (We were on a time crunch since we are leaving to travel for 2 months this summer.) So take some time and just google about your systems, the medicine, suggested protocols for how to deal with your diagnosis…. There are so many videos out there of medical experts that simply explain a problem and talk through solutions.
  4. Seek advice from other locals, expats, and friends back home – I am an experience information gatherer. I will buy products and change lifestyle choices because of how others. This was no different. Ask other expat about their local experiences with doctors and surgery. I have found that most people are happy to share and help others!
  5. Pray – Not religious? Neither am I. But I believe in a living and loving God who created me and wants good things for me. Because of that, I prayed a lot and we had a whole group of people praying as well! Maybe you don’t believe that, but do you know others who do? From my experience, those who do pray want to know how to prayer for others. And what could it hurt to have others praying for wisdom, health, and healing?

While these tips may not be new to you, they may help give you someplace to start if you are just paralyzed by how to make a decision. Expat living is challenging enough, but having to make medical decision in that environment as well can seem defeating. But be strong, push through fear, and figure out what will work for you!

 

 

Questions for our readers:

Are you an expat? Have you had surgery in a foreign country before?

If so, how did it go?

What story or tips can you share about your medical experience in a foreign country?